Post # 44

November is upon us. Many know this month as "No-shave-November"*, which is synonymous with "grow a manly beard which radiates testosterone month". I am certainly giving it my best effort, and am currently seeing no women. This situation of inactivity in that particular department is almost guaranteed to change once my manly beard comes to full maturity...I'm betting most babes will liken me to a huge scruffy viking, who fights lions with his bare hands (assuming that particular viking ever went to Africa).

*Ladies heavily encouraged not to participate

Election day has come and gone, and although some people considered it a pretty lame election (no national seats up for contention, only state senate, house, and local offices in contention), I thought it was full of intrigue and excitement. Well... I can't back that up. I mean, take the "clerk of the court" spot that the people were voting on. There were about 10 names I could choose from and a) I didn't know ANY of the people and b) I don't REALLY know what the clerk of the court is nor what he/she does. Therefore, instead of making a completely uninformed decision on a potentially important elected position, I made a somewhat risky, yet courageous and aggressive decision and I wrote in my dear friend "D. Cole Simmons" as my vote for clerk of the court. Good luck Cole, you have my unwavering support. I don't know why voting Democrats into office has become such a fad recently, but they now control the Virginia state senate...keywords = Deomcrats, Control, Virginia.

My grandmother was recently in a single-car accident, where she suffered some pretty intense injuries (she probably won't be walking until April). She is currently doing pretty well, considering the circumstances, and is recovering near her home in Maryland. There has been a lot of falling out between members of the family on my maternal side since as long as I can remember. My hope is that in light of the fragility of life and the importance of family (siblings from Virginia, Kansas, Wisconsin, California, and Maryland made the trip to be with their mother), perhaps my relatives (including my mother) can rekindle the relationships they once had, and find a solution to whatever problems and differences they had/still have. I mean, I had nothing to do with whatever is going on, and I want to hang out with my cousins. Shoot. That's not too much to ask.

Speaking of cousins, my cousin Alex (on my mom's side), got married on November 4th in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. I flew out there on Saturday and stayed with my Aunt Janet (mom's little sister) and Uncle John. I hadn't seen anyone on that side of the family in probably 10 years, and just watching my Aunt Janet's mannerisms, facial expressions, tone of voice and of how she went about daily life would have made the trip worth it. I was astonished at how much my mom and her sister look/and sound alike. Hilarious. They were very hospitable, and I felt like family the moment I was in their house. Uncle John even let me try some of his beer (which was incredible). I got to catch up with my cousins Vikki and Ariana, and learned that Vikki can still speak German. They lived in Germany for 8 years, and Estonia for 3...or something like that; and which is completely awesome and I hope to live somewhere over in northern Europe at some point in my life.

ANYWAY, the wedding was on Sunday and Sunday morning Uncle John and I drove around doing errands and discussing how we were going to get yelled at for things beyond our control (women and weddings...what can you do). So one of our tasks was location Vikki somewhere in Leavenworth, Kansas, who had left the reception area without taking her cell phone. This was much to the chagrin of the rest of the wedding party, because they needed to start taking pictures. So the two of us set off ranting about how there is no way we'll find her and after 10 minutes of searching we'll just go back and explain why we didn't. Now, Uncle John is a retired Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force, and is currently a professor of military history at Tulane University, and he came up with our excuse for not finding Vikki; "We didn't find her because of the same reason the Japanese didn't win World War II.......because they didn't". I thought it was brilliant. However, we did find her (at Alex's apartment), and received no accolades or applause upon our triumphant return. The wedding turned out to be great success, and the reception was money money money. My mom's brother (Uncle James) and his family (Aunt Mary, Jackie, Jamie, Jillian, and Joey) were there and catching up with them was awesome. I swear the "J" theme is coincidental... It was one of the best weekends I've had in a long time, and I hope to make it out there again sometime soon (Vikki, get married already). To wrap up my telling of the events at the wedding I will close with an actual conversation that was held with my reception table mates.

Setting: James, Jeremiah, Ellie, Sara (Vikki's friend), and three other unnamed and anonymous older guests are sitting and chatting. James and Jeremiah are enjoying beers together, while quietly chatting with each other and Ellie and Sara. The unknown guests notice the three of us look alike and begin the conversation asking:

Anonymous male guest #1: "So are you guys related?"

James, Jeremiah, and Ellie in somewhat unison answers: "Yes sir we are siblings"

Anonymous female guest #1: "So are you the oldest?" (she says while pointing at James)

James: (Laughing haughtily towards Jeremiah) "Actually HE's older"

The table chuckles. Jeremiah smiles sheepishly.

Anonymous female guest #2: "So how old are you guys?"

Jeremiah: "I'm 22".

James: (Noting Jeremiah's tactical error in not giving him any "breathing room" on age, but says rather convincingly) "And I'm 21."

Ellie: NO YOU'RE NOT!

Nobody says anything. Second upon second of awkward silence ensues, and crickets could be heard chirping a simple melody of one rhythmic note after another outside the nearby window. James inspects the ceiling once or twice and avoids eye contact with everyone except Ellie. Jeremiah continues his sheepish smile while looking downward. Meanwhile, Ellie's brain processes, processes, processes until it clicks.

Ellie: Oh! Yeah you are!

The Halo book "Contact Harvest" came out and I have finished it. It is the prequel to all games and books, and tells the story of mankind's first contact with the alien species known as "The Covenant", and how the brutal war between them started. The few hours it took me to read put me momentarily in nerds heaven. Also, an update on my service record for Halo 3: Brigadier grade 1, highest level 50, games till General: 6. (Note, 50 is the highest possible level, and General is the highest possible rank).

I want to leave everyone with a link to one of the sweetest drumline cadences ever. (All older folks: Click on the underlined "drumline" words which will take you to the site).

Person of the Week: Uncle John, for being the man and not rubbing in the fact that he would dominate me in hand squeezing contests 10 years ago.