Post # 62 - When the Log Rolls Over

There comes a time in every man’s life where he must prove to the world that he is once and for all not a complex being.

Tip o’ the Week from James:
Do not wear a scarf while at the urinal.

This past week has been pretty crazy. After working an insane amount of hours over my “break,” driving over 2000 miles on the interstate, my right front tire blows out in a rather pathetic manner right in front of my house here in Maryland. I really wish global warming had been a reality at that moment, because it was approximately 20 degrees below 0 and the wind was howling around 30 mph with gusts up to 97. I braved the cold, and stood my ground fearlessly while changing my tire with a pack of blood thirsty wolves surrounding me. In just a few short hours I became the alpha male of those wolves, and miraculously my spare donut-tire remained useful for 0 minutes. For second upon second it firmly fulfilled its duty to remain steadfast whilst I was in trouble. Sadly, the sole purpose for that tire in this world was to last for no longer than Sarah Palin’s chance at becoming president. It reminded me of the story of the fig-less fig tree in the New Testament. I do not have the power to curse a tire, and so the car remains technically parked in front of my house.

Grades have been slowly trickling in this week which is stressful in and of itself. Some grades were received with songs of jubilation (see Mulan: Let’s get down to Business). Others were received with cries of despair (see the Hindu God Vishnu who was quoted after the testing of the first atom bomb: “Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.”)

Classes have started. I woke up at 5:30 the other morning and read Title 28 of the U.S.C. for 2.5 hours. What a terrible way to start the day! It sapped every ounce of creativity and livelihood out of me, and I was reduced to a pile of wistfulness while blubbering “And this district hath only jurisdiction over disputes between a citizen and a state, or anything involving tigers.” Only some of that is actually true.

I also have not yet received a loan check. It was processed on January 3. It was sent out January 7. Just so we are all clear, it took four days for someone to move the check from outbox to mailbox, an understandably difficult task for your average government employee. Zing!

Somehow that last comment could, after watching news coverage of the recent tragedy in Tucson, be construed as an attack on the troops since they are technically government employees. The point of the previous outrageous sentence is to point out how ridiculous the media coverage of this event has been. As we all know Rush Limbaugh went on a shooting rampage, succumbing to his own violent political rhetoric.

CNN even ran a story written by a Muslim-American talking about his experience watching coverage of the event. He wrote about how he prayed “please don’t be a Muslim that did this.” The article brought up some good points, all of which have been completely exhausted in debate and discourse and thus has a severe lack of originality in my opinion, but the reader comments easily stole the show. It’s much like a psychology experiment that I get to just sit back and watch (read). The article can be found here - http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/01/13/obeidallah.loughner.muslims/index.html?hpt=T2

And now a thin slice of user comments for your reading pleasure:
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joewill
Hey buddy, when thousands of Americans are killed by Muslim terrorist, and thousands of Muslims hate Americans and many Muslims have little regard for the rights of women, don't ask us not to be weary of Muslims. The Muslim religion was created by men for men and for hate toward non-Muslims. You can candy coated it anyway you like to, but the religion is flawed. I believe there are million of nice people who are Muslims,,,,but you have too many extremist. less
2 minutes ago | Like (1) | Report abuse
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joejoejoe123
hey moron bigot, how many books of the bible are named after women?
1 minute ago | Like | Report abuse
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xsdawe
Bleeding-heart liberal pile of $%*#.
3 minutes ago | Like | Report abuse
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bobsugar10
liberalism and atheists tend to have higher IQs, lower rates of violent crime, less infectious disease, less sexual assaults, (less abortions is the real shocker)
0 minutes ago | Like | Report abuse

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shephrd01
It's time for Americans to wake up, this is really a great article. We are all for sending our troops across the globe to fight criminals in other countries and call them terrorist.

Terrorism is defined as an unlawful act of vilolence or war. The systematic use of terror.

If we just use the actual definition as it should be and apply the same actions we do in other countries, our military would be hunting down and eliminating gang members, serial killers and sicko's like this.

Instead we label our own Terrorist as misguided kids, mental illness and many more sympathetic liberal labels. It is what it is "Terrorism"

By the way I am a white male and not Muslim less
3 minutes ago | Like | Report abuse
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bobsugar10
yawn
2 minutes ago | Like | Report abuse
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Guest
What if? What if? This writer seems to have a subliminal desire for chaos. We certainly already have more than enough examples of what if? already. What if he were a Mexican? There's one stereotype to go for. Drug guy. What if he were Italian? Mafia. What if he were black, asian, jewish, and on and on and on. The REAL question is, What difference does it make? Being not even a little, but totally crazy whacked-out crosses all and all racial boundaries. So to be right about matters, Mr. Writer, don't exclude the rest of the ethnic groups on the planet when you ask "What if". What if ANYBODY did what the Tucson Terror did? I'm just glad the firing squad is well and alive in Arizona. I volunteer to be one of the marksmen, as long as I'm given one of the rifles that has a bullet in it. less
7 minutes ago | Like | Report abuse
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SinD
I don't know who is stupider the person that has to ask if it was an act of terrorism or Clinton suggestion it falls short of the definition,
9 minutes ago | Like (2) | Report abuse
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EmperorWuRM
SinD your HOT!!!!
5 minutes ago | Like (1) | Report abuse

In other news, I accidently held the door open for a lady in a wheelchair at Starbucks. That statement seems odd right? I was walking out of the store and saw a gentleman coming in so I held the door for him, I let the door go as I was looking back and, oh, there is a lady wheeling out! Luckily for everyone involved she not-really-that-narrowly escaped the slow crawl of the door to its natural resting place.

It is time to make pancakes.

Person of the Week: Robbie Shaver! Happy Birthday big guy. Remember, here at 5004 Cherokee "The quatro" we don't retreat, we drink beer.